I can’t get no satisfaction

Dear Homeless Cat That I’ve Semi-Adopted,

If you urinate on ANY of my clothes, pillows, blankets, or furniture one more god-damned time I will be taking you for something I like to call a Worm Road Trip. You won’t need a suitcase or a change of clothes.

Hugs & Kisses,

Your half-assed owner.

PS: No cat will be harmed, idiots. 

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